I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Yo dont text me then not text me
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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