Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
