one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
