everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
