My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
