I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize