dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
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