That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
