Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
