She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
