I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
