Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
The adults are the big ones right?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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