Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were destined to go to rehab together
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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