I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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