Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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