Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
