Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
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so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
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oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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