ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
