If that was your dad, he is hot
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
