If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Randomize