$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
We talked him into tasing himself.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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