i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I accidentally had phone sex last night
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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