I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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