put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
