TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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