Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
