ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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