You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
