I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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