After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
