Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
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