Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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