haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
