Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Randomize
