why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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