Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
