So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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