I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
my vag is so smooth its legendary
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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