It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
