dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
