he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
