he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
