K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
