we're chasing vodka with high fives
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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