i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
