This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
