She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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