i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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