I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize