i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize