used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
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In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
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we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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