Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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