i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize