Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
