well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
