i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
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