This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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