I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
