It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
