Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
what is it with giant penises always finding me
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
