No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize