Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
either way he was missing a nipple.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
