billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
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Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
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Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in