it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
