is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
